The baby blues: A summary of our progress

Okie dokie, I’ve been putting off round two of my blog intro. I tend to tell it all and I have a hard time starting a story in the middle. So, we’re gonna talk babies today. Let’s see if I can keep it brief and keep the timeline in close to the right order…

I had my first doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. One I hope will put us on the path to getting some answers. But, before there is an answer, there must be a question…

As a woman, we’re taught to believe that we can get pregnant, almost literally, at the drop of a hat. “Take your birth control regularly!” “Never have sex without protection!” You hear story after story about women who have gotten pregnant after just one time, on their period, on birth control, with condom use, with spermicide use, overweight, underweight, and that’s not even taking into account the myriad of the medical conditions that could adversely affect fertility. We are consumed by the fear of pregnancy. We wonder what on earth we would do if we were to get pregnant accidentally? There are IUDs, pills, barriers, jellies, and lubes to protect women against those evil, seemingly indestructible sperm.

But then there are wedding bells and biological clocks and one day you find yourself thinking pregnancy might not be such a bad idea. You read the books, search the ‘net, and buy your first bottle of prenatal vitamins. Try, try, try! Then… you wait.

So, Richard and I decided to stop taking birth control in January 2010. It was a big decision that we went back and forth on several times. We weren’t married yet and I was imagining my grandfather’s voice in my head chastising me for getting pregnant before getting married. In the end, we decided to flush the birth control (literally!) and give my body a chance to get my hormones back on track. At first, I was using those lovely Ovulation Calculators that you can find on the internet. I’d been tracking my cycles since Richard and I started dating, so I thought I had a pretty good idea of when I might be ovulating.

When Richard and I got married in May, we were fairly okay with the fact that we hadn’t gotten pregnant yet. The stress of completing my Master’s degree, finishing the planning of and participating in our wedding, and Richard’s work and school schedules all seemed like they might have played a pretty big role in our not getting pregnant. After some good conversations with some pregnant friends, I attempted to increase my charting attempts and tried taking my temperature and paying attention to my cervical fluids. I got very confused during that process. The Ovulation Calculators were not matching up with what I was observing. My temperatures were totally erratic (though, that probably has more to do with the user than the thermometer). So passed the summer.

I had high hopes of conceiving before my mother’s super cool birthday extravaganza. Her birthday fell on October 10, 2010 (aka: 10/10/10). And she was turning 55, which adds up to… yeah, 10. We thought it was fun. Anyway, I was desperately hoping to be able to make her a Grandma for her birthday. We were about 5 days late that Sunday morning. I held my breath and hoped this time would be different. No such luck. Negative. Again. Well, I still had some hope. I usually did stay hopeful until Auntie Flo came around. Later that very same day, right after mom’s party, she did show up. So another month had gone by and we were still not pregnant – I cried.

Richard is an awesome husband. That night, he researched pregnancy tests, fertility monitors, and tests for men. The very next day we headed out in search of a fertility monitor. I was excited by this new approach, but quickly became weary when what I thought was my normal fertile period came and went. Finally, on day 26 of my cycle, I hit “High Fertility” on the monitor. A few days later, ovulation!! I was ecstatic. Here I had been worried that I was not ovulating. Clearly I was mistaken and there’s nothing for me to worry about.

I started my next cycle in November. I ovulated again, very late in my cycle. This time, Auntie Flow mysteriously vanished. My pregnancy tests were negative. I didn’t have another period until January 7th. Then, the following two cycles hit “High Fertility,” stayed high for several days (between 10 and 14 days or so) before going straight back to “Low”. Just when I’d started to feel better about our chances of conception, my hopes were dashed upon the rocks.

I’d tried to make an appointment with my Gynecologist, but her waiting list is long. Three months. My appointment in February was delayed due to another visit from Aunt Flo and pushed back to April 8th.

After my Facebook Note about starting this blog, I was talking to a friend and decided that maybe I could start taking more control of my situation. My OBGYN had been on me about getting my thyroid tested, maybe I could try and get some blood work started. I called up my GP and scheduled an appointment to discuss my problems losing weight and my problems with conception. Meanwhile, I picked up the book “What to Expect Before You’re Expecting” and added a whole list of things my GP could test me for.

So, on Tuesday, I headed to my GP’s office. They drew some blood and we had a nice little chat. She said she thinks I’ve got a good notion of what to do about losing weight and that maybe there’s something else going on that’s keeping the scale from move (like, at all!). Her first thought for me was maybe PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome). It is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones. This hormone imbalance may cause changes in the menstrual cycle, skin changes, small cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other problems. However, I also have a pretty strong family history of diabetes and thyroid problems.

Now, we wait. My GP is going to run a few tests and forward the information to my OBGYN. I’m not worrying or stressing out over any of the what-if’s. I’m just really glad that I’m getting some help and guidance from professionals now. No more scary internet searches full of horror stories.

I hope to hear something soon. :o)

Starting our family - Wait! Haven't we done that already...

I’ve toyed with the idea of starting this blog so many times I can’t even tell you. My intention was to post about starting our family and our new marriage. Well, we haven’t gotten pregnant yet, so I’ve been putting it off and putting it off. My mind has been so focused on getting pregnant and starting our family, that I sort of forgot that we already have started our family – just between us.

So instead of continuing to wait, I decided that I’d go ahead and make use of my little chunk of internet space and start our little family blog! But where to start?

I suppose if you’re here, then you probably know the basics. But for the sake of being complete, let’s start at the very beginning – a very good place to start… (okay, now I’m humming The Sound of Music songs). Anyway.

Richard and I met through eHarmony in May 2008. I was in the middle of several huge transitions in my life. I’d started the process of buying a house, had just been promoted at work, had been accepted to a graduate program, and had just ended yet another bad relationship. I had finally taken charge of my life and decided on a direction. I was buying the house so that I could start my family – without having a man to share it with. I was so tired of waiting for Mr. Perfect to just show up and sweep me off my feet. I joined eHarmony to have some fun while I got my ducks in a row and saved up the money I would need to have a baby. No, I was not looking for a sperm donor. I’d already figured out how I was going to go about that.

My good friend Jennifer went out with Richard first. She didn’t think they were all that compatible, but suggested I might be more interested. Meanwhile I’d gone out with a guy named Todd. Since I was “playing the field” I agreed to go out with Richard. He and I had shared some fantastic emails and I thought he seemed pretty awesome. Our first date was fantastic. We talked nonstop. We had similar thought patterns so it didn’t matter that we changed topics at lightning speed or that we’d go from a heated political discussion to musing over cheesecake toppings. When I dropped him off at his car, he insisted that we see each other again. I agreed. It was a three day weekend, so we planned to see each other again on Monday.

After that it was a whirl wind. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. We emailed several times a day, texting constantly, and spoke on the phone whenever we were both free. He worked weekends and was off on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. He would come down and stay with me on his weekends. Sometimes I would go up and stay with him on mine. All in all, we were together nearly all the time. Within 5 months, he moved in with me. In July 2009, we went to Alaska – where he was from. I met his mom and a few of his friends. Then, on a hike he planned for us in Seward, he proposed to me. Wow. Just thinking about it now gives me goose bumps.

We got married in May 2010, just shy of two years from our first date. We did a lot in those two years. I got a Masters degree in Psychology. He started going to school for Accounting. He became a poker dealer for the Hollywood Casino. We’ve done a million changes and upgrades to our house. We’ve gone on trips to Alaska, Delaware, Georgia, Blackwater Falls, Ocean City, and more.

Richard is amazing. He’s everything I could have ever asked for and so much more. He totally changed my life before I’d even met him. I won’t get crazy sappy here, but he means everything to me. I’m so glad that I didn’t go through with my plans to have a baby by myself. I’m so happy that we get to start our family together and that our children will be ours. I’m so excited that we get to grow old together and experience life together. I love having someone to share everything with. Someone who never judges me. He loves me as much as I love him and that’s the best feeling in the world.

This is how we began… And this is our story. :o)

(Interesting side note: Jennifer, the girl who went out with Richard first, ended up going out with Todd, the guy I’d gone out with first. They are now happily married with a two year old son.)