Generally speaking, I avoid the message boards on the baby sites I frequent. They can be full of such negativity, horror stories that I just don’t need to hear about, and misleading information. However, I recently stumbled upon a message board railing moms-to-be for things like baby showers, push presents, maternity shots, and belly castings. After scrolling through a few of the over 200 comments left on the original post, I was stunned by how strongly people feel on both sides of the issue. I didn’t even realize that there was such an issue, much less such a gulf between the two sides.
One side, the Anti group, is totally opposed to baby showers and push presents. They claim that these events detract from the actual event of having the baby or are overly materialistic. One commenter claimed that she would return a push present, if her husband had attempted to give her something. (A “push present” is apparently a gift or token – usually jewelry – given to a new mother from the new father to commemorate the birth of a child. I didn't even know such a thing existed until recently.) This Anti group also claims that women who choose to do maternity shots or belly castings are vain, making the pregnancy all about them rather than the child they are carrying.
The other side of the coin, were the Pros. They claimed that women should be totally pampered and showered with gifts, citing what an amazing thing they are doing by bringing new life into the world. They clamored around one commenter’s post stating that the whole pregnancy process is to be celebrated and that she made specific requests regarding her push present (an engraved bracelet with baby’s birthstone) and if he didn't get it for her she would get it herself. They supported women who got belly castings or did the naked or risqué maternity shots, saying that pregnant women should take pride in their bodies and show them off to whatever extent they are comfortable with, including public display.
Wow, right!? I am not alone in thinking that the argument itself is a little strange, right?
I mean, if my husband wants to give me a gift to commemorate our first child, I’m sure as hell not going to return it!! But it’s not like I’d expect something like that, either. Sure, if a woman is more concerned about the gift she’s getting than the baby she’s having, I’d take issue with that. I also can’t imagine being disappointed in not getting a gift when you’re getting the greatest gift of all in having your child. However, bashing women who have gotten gifts to celebrate their baby’s birth is a little ridiculous.
I can’t even imagine taking issue with someone for having a baby shower. Especially for first time moms! If Richard and I didn’t have such amazing, wonderful, and generous friends and family, Lil Pea’s nursery would be very bare indeed! It just seems silly to me to give anyone a hard time for wanting to celebrate the impending birth of their child with a party. There's no rule that says you have to have one, if that's not something you're interested in.
Though I have not had any professional maternity shots, I love many of the ones I have seen. I wish I felt more comfortable with my body; I’d be all over that. Pregnancy should be celebrated! Now, I probably wouldn’t post some of the more risqué pictures I’ve seen on my Facebook or anything. If you’re doing some of the more risqué photos, they should probably be reserved for you and your husband. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it. And if a belly casting is your cup of tea, I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that either.
I don’t understand why people would get so bent out of shape about other people’s choices about such things. Shouldn’t the most important thing be the health and happiness of the new child? Too many babies are brought into this world and abandoned or unloved. How one goes about celebrating a child’s birth shouldn’t be the topic of such debate. But maybe that’s just me…
1 comment:
Okay, I can’t not leave my two cents on this, so here you go whether you want it or not.
1- Baby Showers: I am pro. Babies are expensive and if your friends, family, and loved ones want to help take some financial burden off of you that means less stress for you and your body during your pregnancy. Another reason why I like them is because when people give you something your baby uses they feel like they are a part of it’s life. For example: I always try to put my son in the clothes people bought for him when he visits them. How is it materialistic when the items given at a shower aren’t for the mother? It’s a baby shower, sure the gifts save the parents from going broke but it’s the baby who benefits from it the most. Sheesh. It’s not like you are giving birth at the shower!
2- Push present: I had never heard this term before, but if my husband wanted to say thank you for giving him a child with jewelry, why argue? Would you throw it back in his face if he brought you flowers, or even just said “thank-you”? It’s his way of showing gratitude for the new life you brought into the world, so let him do it if he wants to, but don’t expect it. Every guy is different and they express their feelings different ways.
3- Maternity shots and belly casting: While I think the risqué ones are more vanity, I love the regular maternity shots and think belly casting is neat. These kinds of pictures and the casting is something you can share with your child when they are older. Imagine showing your child the belly casting you had done when they were inside, and imagine their little face when you tell them they used to fit in there. Same goes with the pictures, you can sit with your kid and ask them where they are in the picture, this would probably be a good tool for the “where do babies come from?” talk.
Post a Comment