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| Ignore the "A" or we can say it's for her A+ appointment...? haha! |
Earlier this week, I met
with Sophie’s pediatric cardiologist.
First of all, she was super nice and very friendly! That’s HUGE for me. I don’t like it when doctors try to be intimidating
or talk to you like you barely have a first grade education. She had a great bedside manner with Sophie
and went on and on about how adorable Sophie is and what a great job we’re
doing with her.
The appointment started
with weight and measurements. Standard
stuff. Sophie was a champ and didn’t
even fuss when they checked her blood pressure (which this Momma HATES!). We hung out in the waiting room for a few
minutes before meeting with the doctor the first time. She took a listen to Sophie’s chest and said
that she would put her pulmonary stenosis at “Mild Plus.” She described this on a five rung ladder
Sophie would be on the second rung.
Mild, Mild Plus, Moderate, Moderate Plus, Severe. Already, I felt like I had more information
and a better understanding of what’s going on!
Then she sent us back
to the waiting room to wait for our turn on the ultrasound machine. When we went back, the tech remembered us
from last time and remarked on how much Sophie’s grown. She knew exactly what she was looking for, so
she zipped through the picture taking process.
While she’s humming and making all these sweet comments about what a “great
job Momma is doing,” I’ve got tears dripping down my face.
Damn it all, I’m such a
whimp. I know my daughter is going
to be okay, but I can’t stop myself from getting all emotional and feeling like
poo for not being able to just fix this for her. Seeing her on the stark white sheets with
little wires all over her tiny little chest is NOT a comforting sight. I’m sooooooo grateful that this is not as
serious as it could have been, but that doesn’t mean it’s a cake walk. It still seriously sucks and I hate that I
can’t make my baby better. I should not
be taking my baby to the Heart and Vascular Center. She should not have to be hooked up to machines
like this. It’s so surreal to be talking
to a cardiologist about my child and discussing possibilities that should never
have to happen to any child! But it’s
not a perfect world and I have to buck up and be grateful that it’s not
worse. I feel totally lost about what to
feel. I’m a fish out of water; I’m in a
strange world of instruments I don’t understand. I’m totally at her mercy to tell me what’s
going on with my child and it’s a horrifying position to be in.
Just as the tech is
wrapping up, the doctor comes back in. She
takes a peek at the pictures and says, “Oh excellent!” My heart started beating a little bit
faster.
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| Click the photo to enlarge it. You can see the details then. |
The doctor pulls up
this picture and shows me the video clip of her heart beating. “Right here (green line),” she says pointing
to the hole in her heart, “this looks like we’ve got a little flap
forming. That’s a great sign that this
might be closing on its own. Right here
(yellow line), you can see the blood that’s flowing the wrong way. You can see that it’s not a lot. Once this closes, and we’ll hope that it will
do so on its own, that should take some of the pressure off her pulmonary
valve. She might not need any
intervention!”
I was really excited
and very relieved! She went on to describe
in better detail using a model heart where her hole is (that’s the atrial
septal defect) and what kinds of things I should look for (blue tinted skin or
a failure to thrive). She said they
would continue to monitor her for the next two years or so to make sure that
the hole doesn’t grow as she grows.
“We want that to shrink
as her heart grows. That’s what we’ll
look for.” She said. “Probably our biggest concern would be that
the pulmonary stenosis may grow with her.
I don’t think that’s going to happen.
She’s in excellent shape and growing beautifully.”
Then, she told me that
they’d like to see Sophie back in four months.
As she shakes Sophie’s little hand, she smiles and says, “Ya know, let’s
make that six months. Yeah. I think that will be just fine. She’s a beautiful little girl. Six months will be great.”
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such great news!!
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| A wider shot of the screen. Sorry it's a little fuzzy. My camera on my phone sucks. |
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